Guilty Mind
by siriuslyferret
Summary: Years after the Second Wizarding War, Draco Malfoy is on trial for his war crimes. When things seem hopeless, he turns to a childhood friend, a woman completely unaware of the world he's from. Can they keep up a facade of love and trust for the wizarding world to see? Or will time have separated them beyond repair, sealing Draco's fate? M for language.
1. Chapter 1

A knock on my office door startled me back into reality. I had been daydreaming, which was not a positive sign my second day on the job. "Miss Alden? I have a message for you."

I smiled kindly at my secretary, a young intern who seemed intimidated by me no matter how hard I tried to put her at ease. "Call me Danielle, please, Rebecca. You know Miss Alden is too stuffy for me."

She looked down and said "Yes ma'am" rather unconvincingly.

I rolled my eyes. I was doomed to be Miss Alden forever, I supposed. "What was the message you had?"

"Oh, yes ma'am. A man named Draco Malfoy said that if you had free time at any point today, he would be extremely grateful if you could see him."

I dropped the glass I had been holding, shards flying everywhere. I swore as Rebecca dashed forward and began to pick up the pieces, looking at me with concern. "Miss Alden, are you alright?"

I didn't know how to answer that, so I only said, "Draco Malfoy? Are you sure?"

"Yes ma'am. He called about five minutes ago."

I sank back into my chair. "Cancel all of my appointments for the rest of the day, and tell Mr. Malfoy I'll see him here in half an hour."

She nodded and exited my office, still eyeing me warily. The moment the door closed, I dropped my head on my desk. How the hell had he found me after all these years? I hadn't talked to him since we were seventeen, almost a five years ago. I kept my head pressed to the cool glass surface and closed my eyes, thinking back to my life so long ago when I had known Draco Malfoy….

We had been best friends since we were tiny. We frequented the same playground and lived near each other, and for children so young, that was automatic reason for friendship. His parents didn't like that we played together and began to try to keep him from seeing me. He was stubborn from a small age, however, and disobeyed them. It wasn't that hard, in reality. He told me that a nanny raised him for almost his whole life, his parents usually unaware of his day to day activities. Luckily, that included being unaware of me. We attended the same primary school, walking home together every day. By the time we were ten, Draco had already been in two fights keeping bullies away from me, permanently sealing our friendship.

When we were eleven, Draco told me he was being sent away to a special school. We were both terribly upset, but he promised to not forget me. True to his word, he came home from Christmas break that year and kissed me the moment he saw me. I don't know which one of us was more embarrassed. He was undoubtedly my first crush, however. He continued to leave every year, but always made a point of coming home to see me. I missed him terribly, and as I got older began to wonder if I loved him. During his sixth year of school, I became sure that I did. He was different that year, moody and withdrawn, and finally one day snapped at me, pushing me against a wall and telling me to leave him alone, calling me a funny word that I didn't understand. I burst into tears, and was shocked to find he was crying too. He pulled me into his arms and apologized, saying again and again that he wished he could explain what was wrong with him. I saw a strange tattoo on his arm and assumed he had gotten into trouble with a gang. When I asked him if that was true, he let out a hollow laugh and just kissed me. My heart broke for him, and that was when I knew how I truly felt. I couldn't help myself, and I said those three bloody words that changed everything.

He had looked at me in shock bordering on fear. He repeated "no" over and over again, and I still remember him saying he didn't deserve my love. He left for the start of the second term the next day, and I didn't see him again until the fall. He was different, with scars I didn't recognize on his skin and his heart. He seemed years older the day he had knocked on my door. I had been able to do nothing but stare at him. He declined my offer to come inside, but said he had just needed to see me. His white blond hair was longer than I had ever seen it, and those gray eyes were dulled. He told me that would be the last time I ever saw him, and apologized for not being able to give me what I deserved. He leaned down to kiss my forehead, and I had always sworn I heard him whisper "I love you too" before he walked away.

A little less than a year after that, I finished my schooling and went to the United States. There was an incredible law school called Harvard that I had always dreamed of attending. Four years later, I had returned to Britain to work in the Prime Minister's office in the highest position someone my age had ever held. I had only been back in my home country for a week and at this job for two days. I was incredibly unprepared to face a ghost from my past. I had all but forgotten about Draco Malfoy, as our strange relationship making it easy to pretend I had made most of it up. I took a drink of water, sloshing some of it down my front. I stared at my hands, surprised to find they were shaking.

I walked over to the mirror on my wall and stared down my reflection. You are okay, I told myself. You don't love him anymore. You can be strong. Wide blue eyes stared back at me, and I knew I wasn't fooling myself. I wasn't strong, I was bloody confused. I had taken him at his word that I would never see him again. So why was he coming to see me, and how had he even known I was here? I smoothed out my skirt as once again there was a knock on my door, causing my heart to leap into my throat.

"Miss Alden? Mr. Malfoy is here."


	2. Chapter 2

A huge thank you to my Beta, **MissSlytherinxoxo**! Please R &R

* * *

I rushed to sit behind my desk, hoping to seem calm and collected. But when the door opened a moment later, any chance of that disappeared. Those gray eyes swept over me and I restrained myself from running into his arms as I had when we were children. Things are different, I reminded myself. He has a wife for all you know. I stood politely as he approached my desk and extended my hand for him to shake. Instead, he took it gently, pressing it to his lips, and I felt a blush creep up my face. Rebecca was watching in blatant curiosity from the door, so I told her to take messages if anyone called in a way of dismissal. She said, "Yes, Miss Alden," and I rolled my eyes as she closed the door behind her.

The moment she was gone, Draco turned to me. "I need your help."

Admittedly, I was a bit offended. I hadn't seen him in five years, and those were his first words to me. Did our past matter to him at all? I replied with as much coolness as I could muster. "I'll do my best, Mr. Malfoy."

His eyebrows raised and a smirk creeped onto his face. Damn, I had missed that look. "So we're on a formal last name basis now are we, Miss Alden?"

"Only if you prefer, Mr. Malfoy. This meeting is at your request, after all," I said, inclining my head slightly. To my surprise, his smirk dropped and he looked suddenly agitated.

"Dani, please, don't be this way. I wish you knew how much I hate myself for being here. But I have no choice."

My anger dissolved at both the lost look on his face and the use of my old nickname. No one had called me that since him. I gestured to a chair in front of my desk, but he instead strode over to the window, looking out. "Impressive position you've reached, Danielle. Youngest person to hold it, I believe. Not surprising, though, considering you were the top of your class at Harvard."

Before I could even question how he knew that last bit, he continued. "You studied trial law and were extremely good at it, but you returned to work in a government position."

Again, I didn't know how he knew what I had gone to school for. The expression still on his face made me decide to not ask right now, however. I waited, wondering why he was saying any of this. He suddenly spun from the window, turning to face me. "Do you trust me?"

I looked at him, confused. Did I? At one time I would have trusted him with my life. That was years ago, though, and who knows how much he could have changed? I remembered the years we had shared, however, the years that had mattered so much. I knew instinctively that for whatever reason, I did still trust this man that was now a stranger. Not trusting my voice to be steady if I spoke, I merely nodded. Relief washed over his face but was quickly replaced by anxiety once again. "If you do, if you're sure, I need to tell you something. And please, remember that you trust me. Don't be afraid."

I eyed him warily. Why was he concerned about me being afraid of him? He moved slowly to stand in front of me, as though he didn't want to startle me. Taking a deep breath, he looked straight into my eyes. They were a stormy gray, and my stomach lurched. What the hell was going on?

"Danielle….I'm ― I'm a wizard."

I burst out laughing. Was this the new Draco? Joking, carefree? I preferred it to the moodiness I had seen during our last years together. He continued watching me, however, and my laughter slowly stopped. Why hadn't he even cracked a smile? He reached into his coat and pulled out a wooden stick, holding it in front of him. I looked at him with concern. Had he gone mental during our years apart? He pointed it at a vase of flowers on my desk, whispering under his breath.

Before my eyes, the roses shifted into a swirling cloud of butterflies, bright red and beautiful. My mouth dropped open, and I could feel Draco watching me, trying to gauge my reaction. The butterflies made their way to the window, and I walked over to them without really being aware of what I was doing. My fucking flowers were now flying around me. Was I the one going mental? Still in my trancelike state, I opened the pane and set them free, watching as they disappeared into the London skyline. Unable to avoid it any longer, I turned to face Draco. He hadn't moved at all and was still watching me closely. I managed a weak smile. "So I suppose the special school you went to had something to do with this?"

He seemed relieved that I was speaking, let alone was still in the room. He nodded. "And….I suppose the reason you need help has something to do with this as well."

Again he nodded. He seemed afraid to say anything, as though he would frighten me further. I wasn't afraid, though. I was curious and still half certain I would wake up and find this was a dream. We looked at each other in silence, and finally I couldn't take it. I knew he wanted me to ask so that he could be certain I really wanted to know.

"Tell me everything."

And so he did. For over three hours he talked, telling me about his school called Hogwarts and his House called Slytherin, about a boy named Potter who he had hated from the start, about a man named Lord Voldemort who terrorized the wizarding community for years. He told me his family's role in the war, how they had followed Voldemort in a group called the Death Eaters that had given him the tattoo I had noticed that day so long ago. He talked about the mission he had been given that offered him the choice of his family dying or him killing a man named Dumbledore, and how that mission had started to change the way he saw his family's ideals about "muggles."

My head hurt by the end of it. How was it possible for this world to have existed and for me to have no idea, let alone most of the world? My heart ached for him. He had been through so many things that most people would never come close to comprehending ― and not just because they involved magic. After all this, I still didn't understand why he needed my help. When I asked him, he became agitated once again, now pacing the room.

"After the wizarding war, many Death Eaters were killed either by the families of people they had harmed or by a Ministry official that tried to take them in. Some were imprisoned in the place I mentioned, Azkaban. My parents were among them. Most of the wizarding community believed that having all the Death Eaters either dead or in Azkaban was enough. Within the past couple of years, however, there has been a movement to see those with any part in the war, no matter how small, punished," he said, his voice growing bitter. "I am among those who are now being prosecuted by the Wizengamot."

I slowly began to understand where he was going with this. But surely he wouldn't drag me into his world….?

"The wizarding world doesn't have much use for lawyers. The Wizengamot hears the facts presented by the accused and the witnesses, then makes the decision themselves. They are jury and judge all in one."

He then turned his eyes from where they had been fixated on a spot on the wall to meet mine, his expression fierce. "I don't have a chance without your help. They know who my parents are, and they know what role I played in Albus Dumbledore's death. It doesn't matter to them that I changed sides or that I haven't spoken to my parents since the Battle of Hogwarts. They simply want people to blame, and I'm an easy target."

I looked at him helplessly. "But….what can I do? I know nothing about wizarding laws, or how the Wizengamot works, or ―"

"― but you are an incredible lawyer, and I'm sure you can think of a defense, especially when it's not an unrealistic stretch ―"

"― Draco, I just found out that magic exists, how do you expect me to ―"

"― you're smart and you always have been, I trust you to figure out ―"

"― are you even allowed to be telling me this?"

At that, he stopped, looking abashed. "You aren't allowed to tell me, are you?"

"Not exactly. I was planning on telling them there were….other circumstances. They understand that in some cases it's appropriate for Muggles to know about us."

Something in his tone of voice caught my attention. "What kind of 'other circumstances' would we be under?"

He avoided making eye contact. "Sometimes if the people involved are related, or if it's an emergency," he trailed off, leaving me suspicious. Neither one of those applied to us. There was something he wasn't telling me. "What are the other circumstances?" I repeated.

This time he looked at me directly, eyes blazing. "If we were involved."

I understood immediately what type of involvement he meant. Love. A relationship. Even marriage, why the fuck not? Anger washed over me and then I was the one pacing. How dare he walk back into my life after all this time and expect me to change everything just to help him? I owed him nothing, that much I knew. If anything, it was the other way around. He could have explained this while wewere in love and everything would have been different. Maybe he wouldn't have pushed me away and then stayed gone for five years. Maybe I would be Mrs. Malfoy instead of Miss Alden. I was angry that he kept this from me until he needed me. What about when I needed him?

I was hurt as well. I had spent a large part of my life wanting to be with him, but he only wanted to be with me when I could do something for him. I realized in that moment I had never gotten over him. Yet here he was, perfectly over me, talking about our potential relationship as though it was a business transaction. It dawned on me moments later that a business deal was exactly what it was.

The stress of the day coupled with the anger and sadness I was then feeling was becoming too much. I knew I had only a few minutes before I broke down, and I didn't want Draco anywhere around when that happened. Arranging my face into a cool mask much like the one he had perfected during our childhood, I walked towards the door. He stood from his chair quickly, following me. "Please, think about this. Dani, I need you. If this could be any other way, I would do it, trust me. I know this isn't the way we envisioned us having a relationsh ―"

In the coolest tone I could muster, I cut him off, unable to bear hearing more. "I'll do it. Just because we tell them we're in a relationship doesn't mean we have to act like it. I doubt they'll ask for proof. Let them know you've informed me of the situation and that I'll be representing you."

I opened the door, clearly indicating it was time for him to leave. Confusion swept across his features and he seemed as though he was about to question my sudden detachment. "I'll contact you when I've made progress on your defense. Good day, Mr. Malfoy."

With that, I shut the door in his face, the last thing I saw being his steel gray eyes. I knew he was unhappy with my return to formality in light of what we had just shared. But I knew that if I was to have any chance of making it through this without having my heart broken, I needed to distance myself. I leaned against the wall and let myself slide to the floor. After a few moments, I heard his footsteps going down the hall. I reached up to my side table and got down a bottle of bourbon. I debated reaching for a glass as well, but decided against it. With the past few hours I had just experienced, I deserved to get bloody plastered.


End file.
